Alcohol industry lobbyists testified before Congress yesterday, denouncing proposed legislation to limit commercial advertising of alcoholic beverages.Despite CDC statistics showing that alcohol kills 88,000 people annually, the alcohol industry has persevered to brand alcohol as a harmless social drink.
"The television commercials are actually quite accurate and informative," said industry spokesman Kip Molnar, "When the alcohol starts flowing, you almost magically draw super fun parties and attractive people."
Alcohol, though a proven carcinogenic neurotoxin, lags behind tobacco as the leading preventable killer in the United States. While the FCC has banned most tobacco advertising, the alcohol industry has happily avoided such advertising restrictions.
"We are working hard to catch up with the tobacco industry's market share among carcinogens," industry lobbyist Jennifer Taulbee testified, "We can only hope to lure as much of the population as tobacco has. We've got our work cut out for us."
Taulbee also added, "And please drink responsibly."
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