Quantum Physicists Discover That Nothing Is Real

By Albert Beasley  

Quantum physicists at University of California Berkeley held a press conference this morning to announce the new discovery sweeping the world of modern physics. "As it turns out, in fact, nothing is real," concluded research team lead Charles Stephenson. "The Beatles' Strawberry Fields Forever song was correct all along," said Stephenson, "Nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about. The mathematics of it are undeniable."

After the brief statement, the gathering of physicists disbanded and abruptly ended the press conference.